Friday, May 2, 2018

Remember how, in yesterday’s post, I mentioned that it had been “a day”? Welp…never has there been a time when I’ve exaggerated less. (That’s probably true – I exaggerate a lot, as evidenced by the previous sentence.) Not only was today an absolute garbage fire in terms of nutrition, but I also ate every single meal while multitasking, and forgot to take a picture of half of my dinner altogether. Such is life. Here goes nothing!

9:48 AM:

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Scrambled eggs with Cholula; tater tots; coffee

Today started normally. The scrambled eggs looked particularly tasty and fresh today, so I decided to go for it. I got tater tots because it was Friday, and #YOLO.

12:11 PM:

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Philly Pretzel Factory soft pretzel half with neon “nacho cheese”

Okay, so…after breakfast, the day went downhill fast. I won’t bore you with details, but there was a bit of a crisis situation at work (a corporate, technology-based crisis, not a personal one…don’t worry, everything’s fine), and when I say we got busy quick, that’s just about the understatement of the year. I’m probably being a little dramatic, but at any rate, not only did I not have time to eat lunch, but I didn’t have the time (nor the energy) to go downstairs to obtain lunch. They had set out Philly Pretzel Factory pretzels with cheese and mustard in the kitchen for the aforementioned Employee Appreciation Week, and that was what served as my lunch. I didn’t take a picture of it, but I ate another pretzel half later in the day (because naturally, I was freaking starving.) I’m fairly certain this cheese was actually made out of plastic.

3:07 PM:

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1/4 of a Three Musketeers Bar

I was having a bit of a low blood sugar situation by around 3 or so, so I went into my handy little candy stash from earlier this week and chomped down a piece of this Three Musketeers Bar.

7:45 PM:

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Tall flat white with one pump of toffee nut syrup

I somehow managed to make it out of work unscathed, and headed out for my weekly errands…which was another batshit crazy experience, due to a completely unexpected blizzard (???) that had started earlier in the day, and wind gusts of up to fifty miles per hour!!! What in the actual world?! As you can probably imagine, I was enraged with hunger by this point, but I just grabbed a flat white in an effort to avoid additional empty carbs since that was basically all I had eaten all day (plus, it was pizza night…or **SPOILER ALERT** it was supposed to be, anyway).

9:28 PM:

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Green something-something salad from Trader Joe’s I’M SORRY I WAS DELIRIOUS AT THIS POINT

My normal Friday night routine is as follows: leave work, head to Trader Joe’s. From Trader Joe’s, head to Target. After finishing my grocery shopping, text Jeff to make sure he’s hungry (he’s very touch & go with his eating habits, as you may have noticed); if he is, return to my car and order pizza from the mobile site of our normal pizza place. Pick up pizza; head home.

Tonight, it was already pretty late by the time I finished shopping (I had left work significantly later than normal, and had to drive quite cautiously since I was practically being blown straight off the road much like the tornado scene in The Wizard of Oz), but Jeff had confirmed that he was hungry (and I was obviously famished), so I went to order the pizza after practically crashing my shopping cart in the parking lot about 15 times due to bananas wind gusts. After attempting to access the pizza place’s mobile site 3 times and receiving a blank white screen, I texted Jeff to ask him to try from the MacBook (I figured something might be wrong with their mobile site, and I’ll literally do anything to avoid actually calling a place). He confirmed that he also got an error message on the full site, so I gave in and called to find out…their power was out. Womp womp – no pizza for us! Despite wanting food in my belly RIGHTNOW, I wasn’t too bummed because the Oscars are Sunday night, and I had picked up some snacky stuff from Trader Joe’s, including a frozen Spanikopita. I decided we’d just eat that for dinner, and save the pizza for the Oscars. Fine! So, I started my treacherous journey home.

I finally get home and decide that since I have to wait for the stupid Spanikopita to bake, I’d whip up a batch of Fruity Pebbles treats for Jeff. (He had seen them being made on Kids’ Baking Championship and it had never occurred to him that one can use cereal other than Rice Krispies to make marshmallow treats. He was gobsmacked by this revelation, and asked me to make them for him.) I needed to eat RIGHTTHATSECOND though, so I pulled out this salad I had bought from Trader Joe’s of which I’m unable to remember the name, but it was fine and nothing more and I scarfed it down standing up like a monster between stirs.

Not Pictured: Spanikopita

It was fine. I ate about half a slice and fed the rest to Grooby.

10:36 PM:

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Gin and lime La Croix

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Fruity Pebbles treat

Quite obviously, this day called for a cocktail or fifteen. This is actually pretty embarrassing…I need to start drinking out of real glasses. Just…my hands get cold!! Um…I had two of these. Necessary. I also had one of those Fruity Pebbles treats, as you do. Sorry for the terrible pic, I was in a way.

YIKES. GOOD NIGHT.

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